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Joining a new school in a new town with new students can be difficult for anyone. Joshua is finally given the opportunity to make new friends and have a fresh start. Upon entering school, he meets two girls who (unwillingly) invite him to join their friend group. But why does it all feel so familiar?
REDO
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Story written on January 18th, 2021
Rambunctious. The vibration of laughter and chair moving bounced around the classroom and into the
young teen's ears. A new and fresh exhale escaped from his lips as his eyes began to trail down the area.
Along each row were dozens of small, wooden desks with squeaky chairs, crammed together to allow the
maximum number of students. You could see that many of the desks in the back had been tampered with from
the scribbles of bored students. His eyes gazed across the attributes of his fellow classmates, acknowledging
their appearance and personality. The urge to go over and fall straight into joking with them as if they were to
do it every day surges within him. Almost as if he’s known them all his life. They probably just remind him of his
old classmates, the vibe is pretty similar... “Hey, new kid! Come sit over here!” His ears perked as a feminine voice
rang through his sound waves. It’s a terrifying and thrilling process that one of those questionable classmates is
connecting eyesight with a bright smile on her face. “Joshua, right?” She questions, tilting her head as she approaches
his desk, “from the magnet school? I’m gonna call you Josh.” He hasn't had someone call him Josh in years, but he laughs.
It’s so forward, but it feels right somehow. A large sigh came from the usually-energetic girl as she planted her face down on her desk. She laid forward on her desk, cupping her cheeks into her palms.
“I really don’t want to go to work today, Joyce! This person keeps coming every day and it’s giving me the jeebes!”
“Juju Cafe is full of creeps... You’ll get through it, Sophie!” A girl with a formal white blouse and blue tennis skirt caught the attention of Joshua as she grinned. Her straight brown hair rested perfectly atop her shoulders, giving her the aura of someone in power.
Ecstasy. A cold breeze swept through Joshua’s hair, brushing it into his face. He huffed and blew the strands out of his gaze. It had been over a month since he began attending his new school, and his friend group was far from normal. A small grin formed across his face as he remembers Sophie’s failure at baking a cake yesterday during culinary class. His eyes averted forward as a familiar petite figure stood at the edge of his iris. He had been walking down the hill from his home to meet up with a certain someone.
“..Josh! Mornin’!” She chirped, a bit tense at his sudden appearance. A smile crept on her lips as she began to loosen her shoulders to his gaze. The petite girl held her lunchbox in front of her stomach, swaying back and forth with her shoe heel. She twisted her body to showcase her star-engulfed pink backpack. Joshua quickly caught up with her and they began walking together to their destination.
“Hey... there was somewhere I wanted to go later today, and I was wondering if you would--”
“The construction site, right?” Joshua asks, taking pity on her. Something about that place makes him uneasy, but if Joyce wants to go... “Yeah, I’ll help.” He stuffed his hands in his pockets as they walked heel-to-heel down the pathway.
“Oh, you’ve been before?” Joyce crooked her head towards his figure, her hair falling off her shoulders in the process. She planted her eyebrows in an expression of confusion and began to slow her walk.
“What do you mean? You’re the one who took me there in the first place. When you found that old microwave, remember?” Upon mentioning the microphone, Joyce forwarded her gaze to the view of local house and shop buildings, thinking intently before looking back to form a frown at him. “Are you sure? I don’t remember that.”
“You don’t remember our first date?” Joshua asks, pressing a hand to his chest. “I’m crushed.”
“Are you making things up to tease me?” Joyce huffed, crossing her arms and looking away from his direction back towards the buildings ahead of them, evading eye contact as he attempts to connect eyes.
She really doesn’t remember? Is that normal? It can’t have been that long ago; he’s only been here a few weeks. Maybe it’s just Joyce. She is pretty weird. And his own memories seem weirdly blurred, considering how recent their trip must have been; maybe he’s confusing it with somewhere else?
Doubt. Joshua yawned as he read the town's weekly newspaper. 39-YEAR-OLD MAN GONE MISSING was planted at the top of the page. Joshua squinted his eyes as he leaned forward to turn on his desk lamp and take a seat and read the paper: 39-year-old Jefferson Grudon was reported missing last night on January 16th, 2021 around 9:00PM. Police have not found him. He was last seen purchasing an iced coffee at Juju Cafe in downtown city. Joshua held his cheek in his palm as he carelessly continued to swipe through the pages of the newspaper. He felt a shiver go down his spine, almost as if someone was watching his every swipe. He crooked his head to face the ominous door, where a small crack was present. A bright eye formed from the crack, making him jump out of his chair and leave a loud clunk - then it was gone. Before he could react, a familiar ring bounced as the vibration was brought to his attention. Joshua reached forward to his desk to the phone line that was placed on the back of his desk behind the newspaper.
“Good evening. Is this Joshua Doang?” A voice. A familiar voice.
“Yes, sir. Is this Mr. Cando speaking?” Joshua loosened up a bit as he began to readjust his chair from when it had fallen to the ground.
“...that is correct. I do not believe we have interacted before.” A small cough came from the other line afterward, along with quick paper flipping. He cleared his throat before continuing, “we have been observing your household recently and there have been reports of suspicious activity. We believe you may be in danger.” Joshua lowered his eyebrows and anxiously began looking at a random object that was posing on his bookshelf. It had eyes, and Joshua felt like it was staring right into his soul, judging his every move. All eyes were.
“What type of danger, sir?” Joshua began fidgeting uneasily as he twirled his home line strings between his fingers. The silence on the other side of the line felt like hours on end.
“Homicide.”
A knock was set at Joshua’s bedroom door. A manly voice could be heard from behind the wood.
“I have to go Mr. Cando, my father needs me.” Joshua swiftly put down the phone and opened his door to face his father. He had a grin on his face as he held two cups of tea. He walked past Joshua who held a confused expression on his face.
“What’s the tea for?” Joshua asked, making eye contact with the swift waves of the cups as his father adjusted his hands. He leaned forward to place the two cups on the short wood table in the middle of the room. He looked towards Joshua with a copying expression.
“Weren’t you talking with Joyce just now?” Joshua’s father adjusted his position to now be facing upwards, “wasn’t she just here?”
“What are you talking about, dad?” Joshua averted his eyesight from his dad to his door.
“Joyce came over and asked where your bedroom was. I told her where…” His voice trailed off as he followed Joshua's eyes.
Joyce was here?
Ominous. A yawn escaped his lips as he walked down his usual path with his two friends. He blinked rapidly, groaning slightly as he rubbed his eyes. He didn’t get a wink of sleep last night. Someone is out to get him.
“You seem pretty out of it, Josh,” Sophie says. Her blonde strands sway with the morning wind as she brushes her heels against the ground, step by step. She’s glaring at Joshua with her emerald eyes in forms of curiosity and concern all at once.
“You think so too?” Joyce asks. She placed her pointer finger to her chin in question. He’s falling. He’s drowning.
Sophie smirks over at him. “If you don’t wake up, you’re going to lose your balance..."
There’s blood on his face and blood on his shirt and blood on the baseball bat and he keeps swinging down the bat, again and again, and again and again and again and again and again.
He suddenly comes to a halt. His eyes and eyebags are completely drained.
Sophie lets out an intrigued muffle as she turned around a couple of paces ahead. Joyce pauses next to Joshua.
“You’re... here, right?” Joshua asks. “We’re all here? We’re real?”
“You’re asking questions like that now?” Sophie asks. “I’m not going to talk philosophy when I’ve only just woken up.”
“Are you okay?” Joyce asks, frowning anxiously at Joshua.
His throat feels tight. To his mild horror, he can feel tears coming on, right now, in front of Sophie. And Joyce.
“I don’t know.” Sophie must be able to hear the strain in his voice, but she doesn’t mock him.
“Hey, Josh,” Sophie says, quietly. “We’re here.” Tears start to form aside from his eyes. His legs give way, and collapse to his knees on the side of the road, barely aware of falling.
“I don’t know what’s wrong with me,” he says, half a whisper. “I’m just... I’m so scared.” Joyce's eyes become dim, looking down at Joshua’s figure on the ground below her gaze.
“...let’s get to school.” The voice of Joyce flew by like a dead man's lullaby through his ears. Joshua felt shivers go down his spine and she begins to walk past him and stands next to Sophie, who ultimately looks extremely confused. She connects eye gazes with the two, before turning around with Joyce and walking back down the path. I guess I really am alone.
Joshua woke up with his bed sheets soaked with sweat, hair plastered to the back of his neck. His heart’s hammering against his chest like he’s just been running away from a crazy psychopath. Was he still asleep? He feels like he’s standing on the brink of a chasm and he can’t look down, and he doesn’t know whether it’s in front of him or behind him... If he takes a step in any direction, he might fall. He’s afraid to get up, to even go out into the day. He doesn’t know what’s waiting for him there. Alarmingly, a familiar ringtone of his phone home-line began to go off. He dragged himself out of his bed and lifted the phone, putting it against his right ear.
“Joshua? Your father and I are going to be a little late returning from work today.”
“That’s fine, mom. I’ll make food then.”
“Don’t worry about it! Joyce offered to make dinner for you today. I bumped into her this morning at the grocery store. She should be there soon.” Joyce?
A doorbell. He winced as the ringing began to follow with knocking. Within a few seconds, it came to a stop. He looked towards the door breathless for a few seconds before sliding his socks across the hard wooden floor as he made his way to his door. The dim lighting of only the kitchen-lit room made him sweat in anxiousness. His arm extended towards the doorknob as his palm began to open. He gritted his teeth and looked down diligently. He halted and questioned the quietness arising before him. BANG. BANG. BANG.
A young voice came through the door in a very soft tone.
“...hey Josh. Come open the door.”
His breath hitched as he felt his entire body tense up within a millisecond. Joyce.
“Your mom had me bring you dinner.” Silence fell between the two. Joshua stood there, frozen. There’s no way Joyce could kill him. Right? Joyce, the really cute and perky girl? He shook his head in denial and opened the door.
“Finally! I was worried the food was going to get cold.” Joyce’s smile brought calmness to Joshua’s feelings. There’s no way she would ever. She had a pink box with flowers on it as she made her way into the house and to the kitchen.
“You can go take a seat at the table. I’ll go prepare.” Joyce hummed as she closed the door to the kitchen. Joshua sighed and began to collect his thoughts. There's no way she could do something as cruel as kill someone. She's so bubbly and cute, there's no way she would even kill a fly. But earlier today, her reaction to his freak-out got him thinking... He called out her name, to which there was no reply. Joshua lifted himself off from the couch and walked towards the kitchen and grabbed the handle of the kitchen door and opened it. He began to blink profusely as he took in what he saw on the table. Baseball bat, rope, rib shears, gloves…? Joshua took note of the elephant in the room and geared his head to face Joyce, her eyes being covered by her swift bangs. A grin formed on her face.
Her white blouse dyed red.
REDO.
EXPLANATION
​
I wrote this story with inspiration from the series Higurashi: When They Cry and it's the first arc with Rena killing Keiichi, except it's more relived. I originally wrote this as a short fiction story for my English class in my junior year of high school, where our assignment was to write a story of reliving. This story revolves around a protagonist who is continuously knowing information without anyone ever telling him. This story was written with the assumption that everything that went down in this storyline originally happened, and he was given the chance to try to fix things. In the original story before this second chance, I wanted to write as if Joshua had gone berserk and killed all of his friends using that significant baseball bat. I was debating whether I should’ve inferred that more in the story or used direct flashbacks, for example, mentioning the body was Joyce, or just use attributes (brunette, white blouse, etc), but I decided against it. Joshua was given a second chance to make things right, and honestly, I’m not sure what happened in the end. I think it’s up to the reader to decide and infer what happens. All we know is that Joyce’s white blouse, which I specifically made white to describe her “purity” (that’s actually not very pure), was stained red in blood. It could have been Joshua’s blood, maybe she blunted him with the baseball bat, or viciously stabbed him with a knife. Or maybe the blood was her own. The regained memory I provided in the (as I title these upon the “REDO”), “Ominous” scene from Joshua was used to foreshadow extremely, and basically give people a hint of the past, and potentially the future. It’s the ending of the first story (this is the second story), and most likely the last thing that happened to Joshua before he was given a second chance. There are no specifics on whose blood it was or who the victim was, but we can infer it’s most likely Joyce or any of his friends. In the Ominous scene, it also begins to show Joyce’s darker side, as she turns dark and doesn’t seem to care for Joshua whatsoever. I developed this story with Joyce being a local serial killer (she was the reason for the missing 39-year-old as well, and it’s foreshadowed in the beginning as Sophie works at the cafe), and she wanted to kill Joshua when she began to discover he was talking to the police. It was a bit hard to explain that Mr. Cando was a policeman because of the “second story” situation. I wanted Joshua to already know who he was. In the first story, I’d assume that this story would be much more played out and he would have had many more interactions with Mr. Cando, but because the assignment had a five-page maximum it was a bit hard. The story is chronological and each new paragraph is a new scene. I used vocabulary words with the first word in italics for each new scene to spell out the word “REDO”. A lot of the scenes that go on in my story lead up to the ending of the mystery. There is extreme foreshadowing which allows the reader to infer the future of the story, and hopefully, connect the dots at the end. My rough draft is extremely different from my final. It’s a bit of a happy ending, actually. My rough draft ends with Joyce and Sophie being there to support Joshua as he has his mini freak-out session in the Ominous scene, whereas in my final they abandon him. In my draft, I also had a scene where we got to know a bit more about Sophie and her relationship with Joshua. They were dating in the first story, and Sophie’s extremely competitive and laid-back personality is shown in that scene. That used to be the Doubt scene, but it was replaced with the phone call from Mr. Cando to build a better ending and also fit the five-page maximum. I removed a few other significant portions that were regarding Joshua remembering things from the first story, for example: in the Rambunctious scene, I originally had no mention of any form of the cafe (in the story at all, actually) and I originally had a part where Joshua had already known Sophie’s name, despite her never mentioning it. I chose to implement the cafe mention and Joyce’s reply so we can provide both foreshadowing and an introduction of the names of the two female characters of the story. I think by adding the cafe and the missing person I could hint more towards Joyce and how she had a dark side to her. The cafe was connected to Sophie, whom Joyce felt she needed to protect. The creep was the one who was killed, and if Joyce hadn’t answered Sophie at the beginning of the story when it was first mentioned, nobody would have been able to connect the dots for sure. I wanted to add a part where Joshua began to realize what was happening, like “I think Joyce is out to kill me”, but he trusted her enough to let her in when she came over to give him dinner so it wouldn’t have connected properly. Overall I think I had a lot of ideas and a lot of them were hard to come to live with the page requirement.
​
SONG CHOICE & CHARACTER
I chose You're So Creepy by Ghost Town because I was actually listening to this song while I wrote it, and I think the vibe matches well. Considering Joyce is a creepy girl, I can envision Joyce with blood-red lipstick lol. "Now I'm covered in blood, and I'm feeding off your pretty little lies". Overall the song is really good in general, I highly recommend listening to it.
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